Coaches: You Set the Culture
Bullying doesn't just happen between athletes — it happens in the culture you allow. As the coach, you have more power to prevent and stop bullying than anyone else in the program. Here's how to use it.
The 5-Step Intervention Protocol
When you witness or learn about a bullying incident, follow these steps in order.
Stop the behavior immediately
Address it calmly and directly in the moment. Do not ignore it, minimize it, or tell the target to 'toughen up.' Your response in the first 30 seconds sets the tone for your entire culture.
Separate and speak privately
Never handle bullying incidents in front of the full team. Speak to the bully privately first, then check in with the target separately. Public confrontations escalate situations.
Document everything
Write down what happened, who was involved, what was said, and what action you took. Date and time it. This protects you, the athlete, and the organization.
Notify parents and administrators
Contact both sets of parents within 24 hours. Loop in your athletic director or program administrator. Do not handle serious incidents alone.
Follow up consistently
Check in with the target athlete over the next 2–4 weeks. Monitor the bully's behavior. Make it clear that you are watching and that the culture has changed.
Build a Culture of Belonging
Prevention is better than intervention. These practices make bullying socially unacceptable before it starts.
Establish clear team expectations at the start of every season — written, signed, and posted
Create team rituals that build belonging (pre-game circles, encouragement walls, teammate spotlights)
Model the behavior you expect — how you talk about opponents, referees, and parents matters
Address trash talk and put-downs immediately, even when 'joking'
Celebrate effort, character, and improvement — not just performance
Give every athlete a meaningful role on the team, regardless of skill level
Hold regular team meetings where athletes can voice concerns anonymously
Red Flags in Your Program
These patterns often indicate a bullying problem that has become normalized. Address them immediately.
Laughter or silence from bystanders when bullying occurs (normalization)
Athletes who are consistently excluded from warmups, huddles, or social groups
Online/social media harassment that spills into practice
Hazing disguised as 'team tradition' or 'initiation'
Targeting of athletes based on skill level, body type, race, or perceived identity
"The most dangerous thing a coach can say about bullying is 'that's just how kids are.' No — that's how kids are when adults don't lead. You are the adult. Lead."
Go Deeper in the Academy
Chapters 7 (Safety Glasses), 8 (Protective Gear), and 9 (Boundaries) in the Academy provide full lesson plans, scenarios, and worksheets for building a safe culture.
Explore the AcademyDownloadable Tools
Get the Coach's Bullying Prevention Checklist, Incident Documentation Form, and Team Expectations Template — all free.
View All Resources