Parents: Your Child Needs You to Know This
Most children who are bullied never tell their parents. Not because they don't trust you — but because they don't want to disappoint you, lose their spot on the team, or make things worse. Here's how to create the kind of safety that makes them want to tell you.
Warning Signs at Home
Your child may not say "I'm being bullied" — but their behavior will tell you something is wrong.
Doesn't want to go to practice or games anymore
Comes home upset, withdrawn, or unusually quiet after sports
Has unexplained bruises, torn equipment, or missing gear
Talks negatively about teammates or says 'nobody likes me on the team'
Sudden drop in grades or interest in other activities
Nightmares, trouble sleeping, or loss of appetite
Asks to change teams, quit the sport, or switch schools
How to Start the Conversation
The words you use matter. These prompts are designed to open the door without putting your child on the defensive.
"I noticed you seemed a little quiet after practice today. Is everything okay with the team?"
"Sometimes things happen at practice that can feel hard to talk about. I'm not going to overreact — I just want to understand what's going on for you."
"Thank you for telling me. That took courage. I believe you, and we're going to figure this out together."
"I hear you, and I want to respect that. But I also have a responsibility to keep you safe. Let's talk about what we can do that feels okay to you."
"I'm proud of you for talking to me. Whatever happens next, you are not alone in this."
Do's and Don'ts
How you respond in the first conversation shapes whether your child will keep talking to you.
| ✓ Do This | ✗ Avoid This |
|---|---|
| Listen without immediately jumping to solutions | Tell them to 'just ignore it' or 'toughen up' |
| Validate their feelings — 'That sounds really hard' | Minimize it — 'Kids will be kids' |
| Contact the coach calmly and factually | Confront the other child or their parents directly |
| Document incidents with dates and details | Post about it on social media |
| Keep communication open and ongoing | Promise to keep it completely secret |
When to Escalate
Contact the coach, athletic director, or school administration immediately if:
The bullying is physical or involves threats
Your child is afraid to go to practice
The coach has been told and has not acted
The bullying is happening online (cyberbullying)
Your child is showing signs of depression or anxiety
The behavior has been going on for more than two weeks
If your child is in immediate danger:
Contact school administration, law enforcement, or call 911 if necessary. You are not overreacting — you are being a parent.
"Parents are the first line of defense. When a child knows their parent is paying attention — really paying attention — they feel safer. That feeling of safety is what gives them the courage to speak up when something goes wrong."
For Parents in the Academy
The Academy's "For Parents" track includes chapters specifically designed to help you support your athlete's mental health, confidence, and team experience.
Parent ResourcesDownloadable Parent Guide
Get the Parent's Bullying Response Guide — a printable, step-by-step resource you can keep handy and share with other parents on your team.
Get the Guide