Your Child Needs
You to Know This
93% of children who are sexually abused know their abuser. In youth sports, that abuser is often the coach, trainer, or volunteer your child trusts most. The most powerful protection you can give your child is an open conversation — before anything happens.
"From my platform, I believe everyone should be a mandated reporter. That includes parents. If something feels wrong about how an adult is interacting with your child, you report it. You don't wait. You don't second-guess yourself. You make the call."
— Coach Fentriss Winn
The Body Safety Conversation
Body safety education is not a single talk — it's an ongoing conversation that evolves as your child grows. Research consistently shows that children who receive age-appropriate body safety education are more likely to disclose abuse and less likely to be re-victimized.
- Teach the correct names for body parts — no nicknames
- 'Private parts are the parts covered by your bathing suit'
- The difference between safe touches (hugs from family) and unsafe touches
- 'No one should touch your private parts except a doctor with a parent present'
- It's always OK to say no to touches that feel wrong — even from adults you know
- Expand to include emotional manipulation: 'Adults who want to hurt you may try to make you feel special first'
- Introduce the concept of secrets vs. surprises: 'Safe surprises make everyone happy. Unsafe secrets make you feel bad inside.'
- Reinforce: you will never be in trouble for telling me something that happened to you
- Discuss online safety and private messages from adults
- Name specific trusted adults they can go to if a parent isn't available
- Discuss grooming explicitly: what it looks like, why it works, and why it's not the child's fault
- Talk about the coach-athlete relationship and what is/isn't appropriate
- Address peer pressure and situations where a trusted adult is the abuser
- Reinforce reporting: 'I will always believe you. You will never be in trouble.'
- Discuss digital boundaries: private messages, photos, and what to do if an adult asks for them
- Discuss power dynamics in sports: how authority is used and misused
- Address the reality that most abuse is by known, trusted adults — not strangers
- Talk about consent, coercion, and the difference between them
- Discuss what to do if a teammate discloses abuse to them
- Reinforce: reporting is not betrayal — it is protection
The most important thing you can say: "If anyone ever touches you in a way that feels wrong, or asks you to keep a secret about your body, you can always tell me. You will never be in trouble. I will always believe you." Say this often. Repetition builds safety.
Signs Your Child May Be Experiencing Abuse
No single sign confirms abuse — but a pattern of changes, especially following a change in the adults in your child's life, warrants attention and conversation.
Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong about how an adult is interacting with your child — even if you can't articulate exactly what — that feeling deserves attention. You do not need proof to ask questions or report a concern. Investigators determine what happened. Your job is to make the call.
How to Respond to a Disclosure
How you respond in the first moments after a disclosure shapes whether your child continues to trust you with the truth — and whether the investigation that follows can be effective.
Do This
Stay calm
Your reaction shapes whether your child continues talking. Take a breath. Say: 'I'm so glad you told me.'
Believe them
Children rarely lie about abuse. Say: 'I believe you. This is not your fault. You did the right thing by telling me.'
Listen without interrupting
Let them tell you what they want to tell you. Do not push for details or ask leading questions.
Reassure their safety
Tell them you will keep them safe and that you are going to get help. Do not make promises you cannot keep.
Avoid This
Do not investigate
Do not ask 'Are you sure?' or 'Did you do anything to make this happen?' These questions can re-traumatize and complicate investigations.
Do not confront the abuser
Confronting the alleged abuser can compromise the investigation and potentially put your child at greater risk.
Do not promise to keep it secret
If your child asks you not to tell anyone, explain gently: 'I love you too much to keep this secret. I need to get help to keep you safe.'
Do not delay reporting
Report to law enforcement or CPS as soon as possible. Time matters for evidence collection and child safety.
10 Questions to Ask Every Program
A program that takes child safety seriously will welcome these questions. A program that doesn't have good answers — or that resists the questions — is telling you something important.
Does the program have a written child protection policy? Can you see it?
Are all coaches and volunteers required to pass background checks?
Is SafeSport training required annually for all adults with athlete contact?
What is the one-on-one interaction policy? Are private sessions with coaches allowed?
How does the program communicate with athletes? Can parents see all messages?
What is the locker room and changing area policy?
Is there a named person responsible for child protection in the organization?
What is the reporting protocol if a parent has a concern?
Has any coach or volunteer ever been removed for inappropriate behavior? How was it handled?
Does the program provide age-appropriate body safety education to athletes?
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