Be the Teammate
Who Changes It
The most powerful person in any hazing or violence situation is not the aggressor — it's the bystander. You have more power than you think. Here's how to use it.
"The greatest athletes I've ever coached weren't just great at the sport. They were great teammates. They were the ones who spoke up when something was wrong, who checked on the person who was struggling, who refused to let the culture go in a bad direction. That's what I want for you."
— Coach Fentriss Winn
Every Athlete Has These Rights
The right to compete in an environment free from hazing, intimidation, and physical harm
The right to report abuse without fear of retaliation or loss of playing time
The right to refuse participation in any activity that makes you uncomfortable — regardless of team tradition
The right to have your report taken seriously by coaches, administrators, and parents
The right to a team culture built on mutual respect, not fear or hierarchy
Five Ways to Intervene — Pick the One That Fits
You don't have to be a hero to be a bystander. You just have to choose one of these five options. Every situation has at least one that works.
Safely and calmly tell the aggressor to stop. This works best when the situation is not yet physically dangerous and you feel safe doing it.
What to Say
"Hey, that's not cool. Leave them alone."
"That's hazing. I'm not doing that and neither should you."
"This isn't what our team is about. Stop."
Best Used When
When you feel physically safe and the behavior is verbal or social, not yet physical.
Interrupt the situation without confronting it directly. Create a diversion that gives the target an exit without escalating the conflict.
What to Say
"Hey [target's name], Coach wants to see you."
"[Target], I need your help with something real quick."
Spill something, drop something, create any interruption that breaks the moment.
Best Used When
When direct confrontation feels unsafe or when you want to give the target an exit without making the situation bigger.
Get a coach, official, administrator, or trusted adult involved. You don't have to handle this alone — and sometimes getting an adult is the most powerful thing you can do.
What to Say
"Coach, something is happening in the locker room that you need to see."
"I need to tell you something that's been going on with the team."
"I'm not comfortable handling this myself — can you step in?"
Best Used When
When the situation is serious, when you've already tried Direct or Distract, or when you feel unsafe acting alone.
Check in with the target after the incident. Sometimes the most important intervention happens after the moment has passed — when someone asks 'Are you okay?'
What to Say
"Hey, I saw what happened. Are you okay?"
"I want you to know that wasn't okay and you didn't deserve that."
"Do you want to talk about it? Or do you need help figuring out what to do next?"
Best Used When
Always — even if you couldn't act in the moment, checking in afterward matters enormously to the target.
Record what happened — date, time, location, who was involved, what was said or done. Documentation supports reporting and protects you and the target.
What to Say
Write it down as soon as possible: what happened, who was there, what was said.
If there is physical evidence (messages, photos), screenshot and save it.
Your documentation may be the only record that something happened.
Best Used When
After any incident — whether you acted in the moment or not. Documentation is always appropriate.
How to Say No to Hazing
Saying no to hazing is one of the hardest things an athlete can do. These scripts give you the words for four of the most common pressure situations.
What to Say
""I'm not going to do that. I'm here to be a good teammate, not to go through something that makes me feel disrespected. If that's a problem, let's talk to Coach.""
Say it calmly and directly. You don't need to explain yourself at length.
What to Say
""I'm not going to do that to them. That's not the kind of teammate I am, and it's not the kind of team I want to be on. I'm going to tell Coach if this keeps going.""
Standing up for someone else is harder than standing up for yourself. It's also more important.
What to Say
""I hear you, but 'we've always done it' doesn't make it okay. I'm not doing it, and I'm not going to watch someone else go through it either.""
Tradition is not a justification for harm. You have the right to say so.
What to Say
""I understand there might be consequences for saying no. I'm willing to accept those consequences because I'm not willing to do something I know is wrong.""
A team that punishes you for refusing to harm someone is not a team worth being on. Your integrity is worth more than your roster spot.
How to Stop a Fight Before It Starts
The best fight is the one that never happens. These five steps give you a framework for de-escalating conflict before it becomes physical.
Breathe first
When you feel your body getting hot, your heart racing, your jaw tightening — that's your fight-or-flight response activating. Take 3 slow breaths before you say or do anything.
Create physical distance
Step back. Turn your body slightly away. Physical distance reduces the physiological intensity of the confrontation for both parties.
Use 'I' statements
"I feel disrespected when..." is harder to escalate than "You're being a jerk." Own your experience without attacking the other person.
Name the pause
"I need a minute before we talk about this." Asking for a pause is not weakness — it's the most effective de-escalation tool available to you.
Get a third party
If you can't de-escalate alone, get a coach, official, or teammate to step in. There is no shame in asking for help to prevent a fight.
The Athlete's Anti-Violence Pledge
I will compete with intensity and respect — for my teammates, my opponents, and myself.
I will refuse to participate in hazing in any form, regardless of tradition or peer pressure.
I will use the 5D model when I witness violence or intimidation — I will not be a passive bystander.
I will report abuse through the proper channels, even when it's uncomfortable.
I will model the behavior I want to see from my teammates.
I understand that my team's culture is partly my responsibility — and I accept that responsibility.