You Are Part of
the Solution
Parents are the most underutilized violence prevention resource in youth sports. Your sideline behavior, your conversations in the car, and your willingness to report what you see — all of it shapes the environment your child competes in.
"Parents, you are not spectators. You are participants in your child's sports experience — for better or for worse. The question is whether you're going to be a positive force or a negative one. That choice is yours every single game."
— Coach Fentriss Winn
Signs Your Athlete May Be Experiencing Violence
Athletes rarely come home and say "I'm being hazed." They show you through behavior changes. Trust these signals.
The 5 Standards of Positive Sideline Behavior
Parent spectator behavior is one of the leading causes of hostile sports environments. These standards are not optional — they are the baseline for being a positive presence in your child's athletic life.
Cheer for effort, not just outcomes
Athletes who are cheered only for winning learn that their value is conditional. Athletes who are cheered for effort learn resilience.
"Great hustle!" / "You worked hard for that!"
"You should have had that!" / "What were you thinking?"
Never coach from the sidelines
Dual coaching creates confusion, undermines the coach's authority, and adds pressure that disrupts performance.
Let the coach coach. Save feedback for the car ride home — and lead with a question, not a critique.
Shouting instructions, corrections, or strategy from the stands during play.
Model respect for officials
Your athlete is watching how you treat authority figures. Verbal abuse of officials teaches them that aggression is an acceptable response to disagreement.
Disagree with a call? Stay silent or say quietly to the person next to you: "I saw that differently."
Yelling at officials, questioning their competence, or using profanity.
Respect opposing athletes and fans
The opposing team is someone else's child. The way you treat them is the way you want your child treated.
Applaud good plays by both teams. Greet opposing parents with basic courtesy.
Taunting, trash talk, or aggressive behavior toward opposing athletes, coaches, or fans.
Process the loss before you speak
The car ride home after a loss is one of the highest-risk moments for parent-athlete conflict. Your athlete needs space before feedback.
"I love watching you play. How are you feeling?" Then listen.
Immediate performance analysis, blame assignment, or comparison to other athletes.
How to Talk to Your Athlete About Violence
The right words at the right moment can open a door that stays shut for years. These scripts give you a starting point for three of the most common and most difficult conversations.
How to Start
""I've noticed you seem a little different lately — less excited about practice. I'm not trying to pry, but I want you to know you can tell me anything and I won't overreact. Is everything okay with the team?""
If They Open Up
If they open up: listen without interrupting. Thank them for telling you. Ask what they want you to do before you do anything.
If They Don't
""I hear you. I just want you to know the door is always open. And if something is happening that isn't okay, you can tell me — even if you think I'll be upset.""
How to Start
""I heard there was some conflict at practice today. How are you doing with that? What did you see?""
If They Open Up
Ask how they felt as a bystander. Did they want to do something? What stopped them? This opens the door to bystander intervention conversations.
If They Don't
""Sometimes when we see something intense, it stays with us. If you want to talk about it later, I'm here.""
How to Start
""I need to understand what happened before I respond. Tell me everything from your perspective." Then listen fully before reacting."
If They Open Up
After hearing them out: "I hear you. Here's what I'm concerned about and here's what needs to happen next." Address both the behavior and the underlying cause.
If They Don't
""I'm not going to yell. I need to understand what happened so we can figure out the right next step together.""
What to Do When You See or Hear Something
Your child tells you they are being hazed
Believe them. Thank them for telling you. Ask what they want you to do. Then report to the athletic director — not just the coach, who may be complicit or unaware.
Your child witnessed hazing but wasn't targeted
Encourage them to report to a coach or administrator. If they're afraid to, you can report on their behalf — ask them first.
A fight occurred at practice or a game
If there were injuries, contact the athletic director and request an incident report. If criminal behavior occurred, contact law enforcement.
You witnessed inappropriate parent behavior
Speak to the athletic director after the event. Do not confront the parent directly at the venue — this escalates rather than resolves.
Your child is afraid to report
You can report on their behalf. Ask them what they're afraid of and address it directly. Reassure them: 'Your safety matters more than team politics.'